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Submitted on
July 28, 2011
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Guilty Gear Genesis pg1 by Biigurutwin Guilty Gear Genesis pg1 by Biigurutwin
We finally finished page 1! Hooray!:dance:

Ahem... well... here is the first page of me, ~Biigurutwin & ~BeagleTsuin's fancomic, Guilty Gear: Genesis!

I hope you like it, because it's going to be hell!

Oh, and here's the tumblr site for all the pages, in case you don't want to browse dA for updates:
:bulletred:Guilty Gear: Genesis:bulletred:

characters Daisuke Ishiwatari
"We will rock you" by Queen
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It'll be coming soon, don't worry.
CrystalSiren7 Aug 5, 2011  Student General Artist
ooo pretty ^_^
Eye looks like it could use some natural eyelashes, but, not a bad sequence.
BeagleTsuin Jul 29, 2011  Student General Artist
Tch, that was my fault, it was up to me to edit the lineart if there was any problems...^^;
realityhelix Jul 28, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh Sol, I always knew you were a truck kind of guy.
Oh no, it's not going to be hell. It's going to be...
DVD-1-ONE Jul 28, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
It's been a while since I've done a long critique. I actually have a large background in comics, even though i found that i didn't enjoy producing them in the long run.

First I'll say that, you should leave this up, but re edit it later on, i know you two are just starting to get the feel of each others styles.

1st Panel
On Tsuin's part, there should be some darker textures and some separations between mountain and road. This is the first thing the reader looks at when the page is viewed, start it off with an ooooh and aaah moment. I want to know where he is, and maybe even the time and date, you can include it on the side. You should also think about showing the truck in that first panel.

2nd and 3rd
panel, i would actually combine those two into one panel, at the same time showing a little bit of Sol. Your aim seems to be leading into the unveiling of In the last bits of the page, which is good.

4th and 5th
the 4th is a strong enough panel, it sends the message right away. Thunder then shock. Good job on that one. The 5th is also fine, but again, there should be some indication that the truck has come to a halt as a result of sol getting surprised. Some fierce dust behind the tires and noise effect should do.

Last 3 panels
By far the strongest section this page. The first one is fine, maybe consider adding a sound effect as an added bonus. The sequence works, i feel Sol theme cuts the queen track the moment he grabs his sword.

Take your time guys, you're letting some minor things slip right by, like the inconsistency of the font from panel one and two. I know Bii is drawing it, but you two should work together on the roughs to figure out the right placements so it all flows well.

That's it for now.XD don't worry i wont go this deep every time. Just thought it'd be better to point out things now than later.

Here's a scrapped comic project i was working on involving GG and Odin's Sphere. Move your eyes across the panels from left to right to left, flows are usually in zig zag.


Anyway, keep it coming!
Whoa momma...remind me to consult you if I ever do a screenplay again.
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